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Credits
Template by Aqila Farah Zulkifli . Basecode by Yasmin/Yacemin.
Header by Aina Najihah
Re-dit by Jessie (me xD)
You, again
I don't know what to say, I don't know what to think, I don't know what to do anymore. Maybe I fell in love with you early in my life, and maybe I don't love you at all. The worst part is not knowing, and not seeing any chance to learn. I feel for you, I at least know that much. I hate you too, of that I can be sure.
I hate the way you say my name, simply because it's music to my ears. I hate the way you look at me, only due to the way it makes my heart skip a beat. I hate the way you make me feel, but only because it's wonderful. I hate the way you make me cry without even knowing it, without even being there, without even doing anything. I hate the way you hold my heart, because I know that if you could, you'd throw it away. I hate the way I want you, and I hate the way that it makes you not want me.
If I could just have you a little bit, I might not feel like I do now. I might not be so attached if I wasn't the only one doing the attaching. Maybe if I could hold you again, I'd realise how irrational I'm being. Maybe if I had you I wouldn't need you so much. All the "maybe"s in the world can't make you mine, or anywhere close.
You make me need. I want nothing more than to forget that you exist, or ever did. I would rather forget you than be with you, because everything ends sometime. Once, you were just a comfort to me. You knew me through my changes, through my growing up. I can't say you were there for me through it all, or that I ever would have known if you were. You were just a friend then, just someone i knew, but that seems so far off now. We crossed that line, the line that I can't seem to get back over. You've been a part of me, you've been inside me.
I've been stripped and vulnerable and you made it feel natural and beautiful. You gave me what I needed, what not many people can give me. With you, I felt comfort. With you, I felt beauty. With you, I felt freed. I was freed. You freed my soul, and you gave me life. I was high. I was on top of the world. Now, I've lost that, and I don't know what to do.
The vaguest thought of you, the slightest reminiscence, and I melt, I falter, I fall. I become what I despise being. I become weak. If it was anyone else, I could forget. I don't know why it is that I think of you, why it is that I care for you, why it is that you make me feel so amazing. You're passionate, you're intelligent, you're more than I could ever imagine.
There are no words that really can explain why I see you as the person I do. The only thing that really matters now, is that I do. You're the person I desperately want in my life. It's the queerest feeling. I would love for you to love me, but that's not what I really want. I want that silent thing that couples have. I want a hand on my hip, a hand in mine, a smile from across the room that makes me giggle like a schoolgirl and makes my entire existence brighter. I want to glow... for you.
I know you don't want love. You just don't know that I don't either, or maybe you just don't believe it. I cannot stop my heart from feeling, I cannot change my emotions. All I can do for now is live, and hope for the best.
Sometimes, I force myself to smile, hoping it will stick. I'm just afraid that for now I've lost my glue, but maybe one day I'll find it. Or even better... maybe it will find me.We all have a voice. Some seem to just use it more than others. We all have opinions. This just happens to be mine. Heartbreak is the word. The definition—well, I guess that depends on who you ask. The dictionary’s definition says “great sorrow, grief, or anguish”. Urban dictionary, however, claims it is “What you suffer from after getting dumped in any way by your alleged ‘true love’”. My six-year-old sister would definitely give you a less descriptive version of this. When I asked her, she said “heartbreak is when someone breaks your heart and makes you sad” ant though I agree with her choice of words greatly, I also think the word is more complex than that. When the word ‘heartbreak’ is spoken, people’s minds seem to automatically dart to break-ups. Although break-ups can be hard and cause a great deal of heartbreak, there is way more to the word than that. When it occurs, it’s something terrifying to the mind, body, and soul of the person enduring it. Heartbreak may evoke great sadness but, it could also make us see things in a new light and feel things we never knew we could.
Washington Irving said, “There is sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief-- and unspeakable love.” This quote shows that the tears shed from heartbreak not only represent sadness but also reflect the love felt for what was lost. This occurrence leads to not just sadness, but an appreciable amount of other emotions as well. All the different feelings that follow are emotionally disturbing enough to even have the sanest person fearing their own diagnosis of bi-polar disorder. Anger, desperation, shame, despair, regret, embarrassment, these are all bi-products of heartbreak. Sometimes the bombardment of emotions is overwhelming. One thing leads to another and before you know it, you’re drowning in your own sick mentally unstable bile. Suicide, drugs, alcohol, self-abuse, and abuse towards others are all things that can result from this one little word… scary, huh?
The trick is that you’re never supposed to act on it, no matter how unbearable this misery gets. Its about the feelings that come along with experiencing heartbreak. Not many people like to admit it, but heartbreak is something that knocks us down breathless, and puts us in our most vulnerable states of mind. Feeling like giving up is natural, but in order to overcome the heartbreak, we are supposed to stay strong and never give in to the overwhelming desire to call it quits.
What heartbreak means to me what it means to everyone else—pain, a sense of losing something that you care so much about, and hopelessness. But contrary to what the masses automatically think of when hearing the word spoken aloud, it’s about everything around us. What breaks your heart depends on what means most to you. I believe that we’ve all been broken-hearted in our lives; we feel it but don’t recognise it as what it is. It can come in all forms and all sizes. To my three-year-old (spoilt rotten) little sister, not getting three different types of candy when adventuring out to the store is heart-breaking.
The teenage years become more complex, however. The loss of a loved one, a friendship broken beyond repair, a good starting relationship gone wrong, parents divorcing, parents not caring, rejection, loneliness, pain, abuse, rape. These things happen every day and time will not change that. My mere seventeen years of existence may just be a speck on the time-line of life to someone who’s been around for about eighty years, but I have thus-far learnt that the harder the things you go through, the worse something has to be to break your heart because you gain strength. I strongly trust that heartbreak is an opportunity for something great. However devastating it may be in the midst of the hardship, I feel that heartbreak is a lot like mistakes. It sucks when it happens and it may be hard to deal with at first, but there is a lesson within each one; lessons of strength, love, happiness, self-worth, and who even knows what else. There can be no improvement without a little downfall.
I have definitely learnt that when this happens, we need to be able to have faith. Faiths in love, happiness, caring people, your family, your friends, or maybe even a higher power. The point of what I’m saying is simply this; if you feel down and out and like you can’t go on, you have to have faith in something or things will seem to never get any better. I would love to be able to say something amazing and uplifting that would make every problem in everyone’s life seem okay again, but the truth is that nobody can do that. Nothing we do will ever be guaranteed happiness. We take the good with the bad and hope for the best outcome.
Sometimes, I lay in my bed thinking about how we didn't work out and it hurts so much. I feel things were my fault and I was never perfect enough for you and that's what hurt me. I just want to know why you had to do what you did. Nobody is perfect and I thought you knew that, but I was wrong. You knew nothing. All you knew was that you liked girls and were a cheater and a liar. I opened up to you and told you things that meant so much to me that I wouldn't have told anybody else. You hurt me and scarred my heart, there's nothing else I can do and it is time for me to move on.
-Jessie <365
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Me
안녕하세요, Jessie 입니다.(Annyeonghaseyo, Jessie imnida)~Hi, my name is Jessie~ Became a VIP on 10092007. Blackjack on 03112011. Exostan on 27052013. Aff(x)tion on 12072013. Well, have fun reading my blog! Bye!
사랑해, Jessie ♥
Lovelies
Sheryl ♥
Kamilia ♥
Hanis ♥
Vivian ♥
Maheela ♥
Kelie ♥
YYY ♥
Kristy ♥
Abigail ♥
Vilo ♥
Chen ♥
Syac ♥
Amanda ♥
Cheryl ♥
Joelle ♥
Mieka ♥
Chloe ♥
Melissa ♥
Sharlyne ♥
Daryl ♥
Arlene ♥
Veron ♥
Penny ♥
Danelle ♥
Heidi ♥
LiJing ♥
Stephny ♥
Life
"Don't give too much to the person who doesn't appreciate you,
It's not worth it. =)" -Kelie sis ♥
Never give up in something you truly believe in.
Follow your dreams and it will lead you to your destiny ♥ =)
Best friends isn't about who you've met first or who you've met the longest.
It's about who came and never left ♥ =)
Someday, everything will make perfect sense.
So for now,laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears,
and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason =)
It's hard to fail, but it's even worse if you neve have tried to succeed. =)
In God's eye, love is never absent.
In God's heart, forgiveness is never imposible,
In God's embrance, no one is ever alone or forgotten =)
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened. =)
Just fake a smile and let them know you're okay =)
There is no such thing as a perfect relationship.
There is only a strong one.
And the only way to grow stronger is to overcome challenges.
“That's the thing about pain. It demands to be felt.”
“The world is not a wish-granting factory.”
“My thoughts are stars I can't fathom into constellations”
“Some infinities are bigger than other infinities.”
“It's a metaphor, see: You put the killing thing right between your teeth,
but you don't give it the power to do its killing.”
“there is no shortage of fault to be found amid our stars”
“You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world,
but you do have some say in who hurts you.”
“The marks humans leave are too often scars.”
You, again
I don't know what to say, I don't know what to think, I don't know what to do anymore. Maybe I fell in love with you early in my life, and maybe I don't love you at all. The worst part is not knowing, and not seeing any chance to learn. I feel for you, I at least know that much. I hate you too, of that I can be sure.
I hate the way you say my name, simply because it's music to my ears. I hate the way you look at me, only due to the way it makes my heart skip a beat. I hate the way you make me feel, but only because it's wonderful. I hate the way you make me cry without even knowing it, without even being there, without even doing anything. I hate the way you hold my heart, because I know that if you could, you'd throw it away. I hate the way I want you, and I hate the way that it makes you not want me.
If I could just have you a little bit, I might not feel like I do now. I might not be so attached if I wasn't the only one doing the attaching. Maybe if I could hold you again, I'd realise how irrational I'm being. Maybe if I had you I wouldn't need you so much. All the "maybe"s in the world can't make you mine, or anywhere close.
You make me need. I want nothing more than to forget that you exist, or ever did. I would rather forget you than be with you, because everything ends sometime. Once, you were just a comfort to me. You knew me through my changes, through my growing up. I can't say you were there for me through it all, or that I ever would have known if you were. You were just a friend then, just someone i knew, but that seems so far off now. We crossed that line, the line that I can't seem to get back over. You've been a part of me, you've been inside me.
I've been stripped and vulnerable and you made it feel natural and beautiful. You gave me what I needed, what not many people can give me. With you, I felt comfort. With you, I felt beauty. With you, I felt freed. I was freed. You freed my soul, and you gave me life. I was high. I was on top of the world. Now, I've lost that, and I don't know what to do.
The vaguest thought of you, the slightest reminiscence, and I melt, I falter, I fall. I become what I despise being. I become weak. If it was anyone else, I could forget. I don't know why it is that I think of you, why it is that I care for you, why it is that you make me feel so amazing. You're passionate, you're intelligent, you're more than I could ever imagine.
There are no words that really can explain why I see you as the person I do. The only thing that really matters now, is that I do. You're the person I desperately want in my life. It's the queerest feeling. I would love for you to love me, but that's not what I really want. I want that silent thing that couples have. I want a hand on my hip, a hand in mine, a smile from across the room that makes me giggle like a schoolgirl and makes my entire existence brighter. I want to glow... for you.
I know you don't want love. You just don't know that I don't either, or maybe you just don't believe it. I cannot stop my heart from feeling, I cannot change my emotions. All I can do for now is live, and hope for the best.
Sometimes, I force myself to smile, hoping it will stick. I'm just afraid that for now I've lost my glue, but maybe one day I'll find it. Or even better... maybe it will find me.We all have a voice. Some seem to just use it more than others. We all have opinions. This just happens to be mine. Heartbreak is the word. The definition—well, I guess that depends on who you ask. The dictionary’s definition says “great sorrow, grief, or anguish”. Urban dictionary, however, claims it is “What you suffer from after getting dumped in any way by your alleged ‘true love’”. My six-year-old sister would definitely give you a less descriptive version of this. When I asked her, she said “heartbreak is when someone breaks your heart and makes you sad” ant though I agree with her choice of words greatly, I also think the word is more complex than that. When the word ‘heartbreak’ is spoken, people’s minds seem to automatically dart to break-ups. Although break-ups can be hard and cause a great deal of heartbreak, there is way more to the word than that. When it occurs, it’s something terrifying to the mind, body, and soul of the person enduring it. Heartbreak may evoke great sadness but, it could also make us see things in a new light and feel things we never knew we could.
Washington Irving said, “There is sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief-- and unspeakable love.” This quote shows that the tears shed from heartbreak not only represent sadness but also reflect the love felt for what was lost. This occurrence leads to not just sadness, but an appreciable amount of other emotions as well. All the different feelings that follow are emotionally disturbing enough to even have the sanest person fearing their own diagnosis of bi-polar disorder. Anger, desperation, shame, despair, regret, embarrassment, these are all bi-products of heartbreak. Sometimes the bombardment of emotions is overwhelming. One thing leads to another and before you know it, you’re drowning in your own sick mentally unstable bile. Suicide, drugs, alcohol, self-abuse, and abuse towards others are all things that can result from this one little word… scary, huh?
The trick is that you’re never supposed to act on it, no matter how unbearable this misery gets. Its about the feelings that come along with experiencing heartbreak. Not many people like to admit it, but heartbreak is something that knocks us down breathless, and puts us in our most vulnerable states of mind. Feeling like giving up is natural, but in order to overcome the heartbreak, we are supposed to stay strong and never give in to the overwhelming desire to call it quits.
What heartbreak means to me what it means to everyone else—pain, a sense of losing something that you care so much about, and hopelessness. But contrary to what the masses automatically think of when hearing the word spoken aloud, it’s about everything around us. What breaks your heart depends on what means most to you. I believe that we’ve all been broken-hearted in our lives; we feel it but don’t recognise it as what it is. It can come in all forms and all sizes. To my three-year-old (spoilt rotten) little sister, not getting three different types of candy when adventuring out to the store is heart-breaking.
The teenage years become more complex, however. The loss of a loved one, a friendship broken beyond repair, a good starting relationship gone wrong, parents divorcing, parents not caring, rejection, loneliness, pain, abuse, rape. These things happen every day and time will not change that. My mere seventeen years of existence may just be a speck on the time-line of life to someone who’s been around for about eighty years, but I have thus-far learnt that the harder the things you go through, the worse something has to be to break your heart because you gain strength. I strongly trust that heartbreak is an opportunity for something great. However devastating it may be in the midst of the hardship, I feel that heartbreak is a lot like mistakes. It sucks when it happens and it may be hard to deal with at first, but there is a lesson within each one; lessons of strength, love, happiness, self-worth, and who even knows what else. There can be no improvement without a little downfall.
I have definitely learnt that when this happens, we need to be able to have faith. Faiths in love, happiness, caring people, your family, your friends, or maybe even a higher power. The point of what I’m saying is simply this; if you feel down and out and like you can’t go on, you have to have faith in something or things will seem to never get any better. I would love to be able to say something amazing and uplifting that would make every problem in everyone’s life seem okay again, but the truth is that nobody can do that. Nothing we do will ever be guaranteed happiness. We take the good with the bad and hope for the best outcome.
Sometimes, I lay in my bed thinking about how we didn't work out and it hurts so much. I feel things were my fault and I was never perfect enough for you and that's what hurt me. I just want to know why you had to do what you did. Nobody is perfect and I thought you knew that, but I was wrong. You knew nothing. All you knew was that you liked girls and were a cheater and a liar. I opened up to you and told you things that meant so much to me that I wouldn't have told anybody else. You hurt me and scarred my heart, there's nothing else I can do and it is time for me to move on.
-Jessie <365
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