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Header by Aina Najihah Re-dit by Jessie (me xD) 
You // Broken Trust
People often are disappointed and are not worthy to trust. Some people act arbitrarily, treacherously and viciously, or, worse, offhandedly. You have to select the beneficiaries of your trust carefully: the one who has the most common interests with you; who is invested in you for the long haul; who is incapable of breaching trust ("a good person"); who doesn't have much to gain from betraying you - is not likely to mislead you. These people you can trust.
You should not trust indiscriminately. No one is completely trustworthy in all fields of life. Most often, our disappointments stem from our inability to separate one area from another. A person could be sexually faithful – but utterly irresponsible when it comes to money (for instance, a pathological gambler). Or he could be a good, reliable father – but a womanizer.
You can trust someone to carry out some assignments but not other, because these activities are more complicated, more boring, or do not conform to their values.
Still, we should not trust with reservations. Qualified trust is common in business and among criminals and its source is rational. Game Theory in mathematics deals with questions of calculated trust. We should trust wholeheartedly but know who to entrust with what. Then we will be rarely disappointed.
As opposed to popular opinion, trust must be put to the test, lest it goes stale and staid. We are all somewhat paranoid. The world is complex, inexplicable, arbitrary, and overwhelming. Some forces are benign, some capricious, others downright malicious. There must be an explanation, we feel, for all these amazing coincidences, for our existence, for events around us.
This tendency to introduce external powers and ulterior motives into our reality by way of explanation permeates human relations as well. We gradually grow suspicious, inadvertently hunt for clues of infidelity or worse, masochistically relieved, even happy when we find some.
The more often we successfully test the trust we had established, the stronger our pattern-prone brain embraces it. Constantly in a precarious balance, our mind needs and devours reinforcements.
Yet, such testing should not be explicit but circumstantial.
Trust is based on the ability to predict the future. We react not only to the act of betrayal, but also to the feeling that the very foundations of our world are crumbling, that it is no longer safe because it is no longer predictable. When betrayed, we are in the throes of death of one theory or even paradigm and the birth of another, as yet untested.
Here is another important lesson: whatever the act of betrayal (with the exception of outright maiming or murder), its outcomes are frequently limited, reversible, and, ultimately, negligible. Naturally, we tend to exaggerate the importance of the event. This serves a triple purpose. First, it aggrandizes us: if we are "worthy" of such an unprecedented, unheard of, and major betrayal, we must be worthwhile and truly special. The magnitude of the betrayal reflects on us and re-establishes the fragile balance of powers between us and the universe.
The second purpose of exaggerating the act of perfidy is simply to gain sympathy and empathy, mainly from ourselves, but also from others. Catastrophes are a dozen a dime and in today's world it is difficult to provoke anyone to regard your personal disaster as anything exceptional. Finally, the greater and more unprecedented the act of treason, the less responsible we feel for it and the more we believe that there was nothing we could have done to prevent it.
Amplifying the event has, therefore, some very self-salving purposes. But, finally, this self-deception poisons the victim’s mental circulation. Putting the event in perspective goes a long way towards the commencement of a healing process. No betrayal stamps the world irreversibly or altogether eliminates other possibilities, opportunities, chances, and people. Time goes by, people meet and part, lovers quarrel and make love, dear ones live and die. It is the very essence of time that it reduces us all to the finest dust. Our only weapon – however crude and naive – against this inexorable process is to trust each other.
Well, in this modern era, it’s not easy to find a good friend. In friendship, trust is a must-have thing. If you don’t trust your friend, then it’s not friendship. Yes, what can break your friendship is when you lose your trust to your own friend. When the trust is broken, all goes back to zero. Even worse. You will hate each other. I’m not meant to be wicked, but one thousand times of apology will not revive that trust. What you will think about your friend is.. Bad memories. It really kindles a flame of hatred between both of you.
I know, my disappointment will not change anything better. That apology heals nothing. Sometimes I ask myself: why do people lie so easily? Didn’t they know that lying is evil? Didn’t their parents teach them about morals? Another question is: does trust depend on who you are? I mean, trust is something that everyone has. It is human’s right and it is obligatory upon anyone to keep that trust. In my case, yes, I’m not your bestfriend. But, does it mean that I have no right to be treated well? My friend, we are human. You can’t make any excuse for doing any evil actions to anyone, even that person is only your friend. If so, please admit your mistakes and apologize soon. Stop insisting that you’re always right. Stop thinking that your friend is an opponent that you have to defeat.
Lying is eviler than murder. You already know about this. We aren’t the enemies in a war. We aren’t a married couple, either. Why did you lie to me? Why are you still arrogant about yourself? Please do contemplate. Please do consider this friendship. If not, why did you spend your time with me? We shared our secrets to each other. We promised to keep them well. We joked together. Do you still think that it was just an ordinary friendship, that you could just throw it away? Tell me.
Where are you? Have you been blinded by love? I used to know you as a logical person. Why did you sacrifice your intellect in a blink of eye? Why did you trust your lust instead of me? Why do you allow deception in friendship? Why do you harden you heart? Why do you deafen your ears from the truth? Am I nothing for you, after I always accompany and help you?
I am your friend, I won’t hurt you. Iloveyou. From the very start.
-Jessie <365
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